Dying…it’s not what you expect.
On February 5th, 2013, I died. I had just come out of surgery for endometrial cancer and was (I believe) in a hallway or elevator surrounded by people calling my name and telling me the surgery was over. My face was turned painfully to the left as I was lying on my back. I have kyphosis of the spine, a spinal birth defect, and it is extremely painful for my neck to be turned to the left. There was some sort of monitor laying on the bed right beside my face. It was a blue box with a black face plate and the readings on it were red digital numbers. I don’t know if they took me off the respirator too soon or what the reason was but, I lay there not responding to the medical staff because, I was finding it even hard to breathe. Then, I saw the red digits on the monitor in front of my face start to fall rapidly, I heard a male voice say loudly and commanding, “BAG HER!” and then, it felt like I slipped out of my body through the soles of my feet. I was in a place where I felt as if I were traveling at great speeds through what looked like small, tiny, broken pieces of gold gilt. When I came to the end of this “traveling” part, I felt an indescribable peace, security, I had no memory at that time of anything from this life or this Earth. I was inside of or being held by this Presence, (as I have come to describe it) of something that is far greater than you but, is a part of you. The greatest part was the love that came from this Presence to me while I was there with It. It was a place where you didn’t need any other love because, this love was complete. I remember feeling that I was safe. The pains of my body were not there. The pains of my heart were not there. They had all passed away for the time I was there. When I get down now, I try to remember what it felt like being there and I try to meditate on it with hopes of returning forever one day.